Love is what keeps you alive
by NHAlways
Summary: The wind was cold, but she just stood there in her white shorts and her green top, arms crossed, breathing the air of the chilly night. A journey through love, pain and life you will never forget. Naley
1. Prologue

My first story! I don't know where this journey will take the story, but hopefully you guys like the beginning so far! Please comment and review! xx

Prologue.

The wind was cold, but she just stood there in her white shorts and her green top, arms crossed, breathing the air of the chilly night.

She couldn't remember how long she had already looked at the dark sea in front of her, nor could she tell how long she listened to the waves crashing.

However, she could remember his soft breath on her neck, his beautiful, deep blue eyes and his strong arms wrapped around her waist.

For a brief moment, she closed her eyes. Trying to savor all the memories of him for eternity.

Then, just like that, her eyes flew open and the darkness and the cold overcame her whole self once again.

She longed for him in a way that it wasn't healthy anymore and she knew it. She knew she shouldn't be thinking about him. Shouldn't held this strong feelings for him anymore, but she just hadn't found a way to stop it yet. Secretly she wondered if there would ever be a way to stop this, or if she was dammed to love him for a life time, for eternity, always, forever...

That was, what he promised her so many years ago: A love that would last always.. and forever.

Now it all seemed like he never said it.

Her voice was low, it was just a soft whisper, that no one would hear, but it was just loud enough for her to know, that she did say the words out loud. That she had finally found her voice again.

Asking for him. No, begging for him.

"Come back to me, Nathan. I need you."


	2. Chapter 1

**A few years ago..**

"Sorry Chris. I gotta go. See ya, honey!" She kissed his lips briefly and went out of the hotel room.

Once outside she wiped her mouth with her left hand and made a disgusted face. _The things I do for him_, she thought and shook her head.

She walked down the corridor to the elevator, when suddenly a hand reached out of one of the rooms, grabbed her by the wrist and send her flying to the wall inside the hotel room.

"I missed you!", he whispered as he claimed her lips and she moaned when his hands roamed over her body. "Me too!", she cried out, as he attacked her neck and she smiled. "I want you."

He smirked and continued to have his way with her. "What about Chris? Is the deal final?"

She rolled her eyes as she pushed him off of her. "As a matter of fact, yes, it is. Do you really want to talk about business now, Nathan?"

"I just want to know, if we can count on him spending his money to support the company. Did you sleep with him?"

She glared at him and fixed her hair, while she stepped away from him and sat on the bed. "What do you think? That I am like one of your whores?"

"Well…", he said and she threw a pillow in his direction. "Don't finish this sentence!", she demanded and he still looked amused.

"Come on, Hales. You know that is not true."

She sighed and looked away from him. "We went on a date and made out, he tried more, but I wouldn't let him."

He smiled. "That's my girl."

She shook her head. "It was the first and last time though. Seducing men to bring them to sponsor the company? Thats not how I want this thing to work."

Now it was his turn to sigh and he walked over to where Haley sat. "Okay, got it. Now, can we skip to the important part once again?"

"What important part?", she asked confused, but never got an answer. Instead he just covered his lips with hers and she instantly wrapped her arms around his neck.

….

"Ms James, you are late." Randy glanced at her with an angry glare and she nodded blushing. "I know! I am so sorry! It won't happen again."

"Okay, go on. Studio 4 is ready for you to record!" She nodded and headed fast to the studio.

"Hey! Sorry, I am late! I had to finish some things." she apologized exhausted.

"Things as in Nathan Scott?" The woman in front of her smirked an Haley blushed. "Peyt! Not here!"

The curly blonde nodded. "Okay, got it. Cant blame you, though.", she winked and Haley became just more embarrassed.

"Now about your upcoming song. Why don't we start the recording?", Peyton asked as she saw how uncomfortable Haley looked.

"Sure, lets go!"

…

She was sleeping peacefully, when suddenly a loud noise, shook her awake. She tiredly glanced at the clock, and saw how it just switched to 2 am. She yawned and looked around the dark room. Thats when she noted, that Nathan wasn't lying next to her. It was becoming a habit, he sleeping over at her place. They weren't official or anything, but his twin brother Lucas was annoying him, constantly bringing Brooke to their place, and he just didn't want to hear him and her doing it all night.

That's why one day he decided to just crash at Haley's and thats when he started to stay there almost every night. She handed him a key after a week, saying she didn't want to constantly open the damn door for him to come in, and he stopped sleeping on the shitty couch a few days later and instead joined Haley on her bed. Haley looked towards the door and noticed that someone had turned the lights on in the hall. "Nathan?", she called out sleepy.

A few minutes later, he stumbled through the bedroom door, letting the door shut with a loud bang. "What the hell?", Haley called out, but Nathan kept ignoring her. However, his silly grin and his red eyes made clear that he was way to drunk to notice anything or anyone. He finally was able to reach the bed and passed out just a minute later. Haley looked at him and couldn't help but notice the traces of lipstick, that covered his neck and were all over his face. It made her throw up to think about what he possibly did to all these slutty girls in the bar he and his friends went to. She turned off the lights and lied down next to him, facing him and stroking his hair softly with her small hands. He opened his eyes and she looked at him hurt.

He reached out to touch her cheek and smiled. "You always take care of me." Haley tried to smile and nodded, despite the weight on her heart that she felt. "You know, I couldn't survive in this world a second, without you.", he added and she looked away. "What about your skanks?", she let out and his eyes widened. "They are not important. They don't matter. Its not about feelings with them." He smiled and she shook her head sadly. "It matters to me."

With that she lied on her side, facing the wall and letting a lonely tear fall. He might not remember tomorrow, but she was hurt by being used by him. She tried to stand up for herself. She tried to stay away from him, to not give herself to him.

But it was useless. He had captured her whole being, her heart in a way no one else did before and she wasn't sure if she would get it back. And the worst part was, he didn't even now.


	3. Chapter 2

**A/N:** Another chapter! I also wanted to say that most of the stuff from high school that happened on the show also happened in this story, with the difference that Nathan and Haley never dated, but were friends from the beginning.

Also the Lucas/Nathan hate relationship never took place, because Deb and Karen made sure that Nathan and Lucas didn't detest each other because of Dan Scott and his mistakes.

Haha, and excuse my mistakes, I am german, so there will be tons of grammatical errors, sorry guys!

Chapter 2

Slowly she adjusted herself to the bright light and she opened her eyes carefully. She looked to her right and rolled her eyes with a smile, when she saw that Nathan was snoring and stirring beside her.

She tangled herself free from the sheet and took a long welcoming shower, before she searched her things and looked at her watch. She promised to have breakfast with Peyton in one of the cafes in front of the studio before they would begin

to continue with her new album. She dropped a kiss on Nathan's forehead and went out of the door.

"Hey!", her long time best friend called her to a table in the back and she approached her. "Good morning." She slumped down and Peyton grinned. "Good morning, indeed, huh? How is lover boy doing?"

Haley tensed at the subject. Peyton knew about her confusing relationship with Nathan and couldn't stop bickering about it. She hated the guy for upsetting Haley, but on the other side, she knew that Haley loved the boy with the blue eyes, who was a part of their little group since diapers. "How is Jake?" Haley wanted to change the subject and Peyton's eyes shone bright with love and pride. "Great! Jenny grows up every day a little more. Can you believe, that its her 7th birthday next week? I mean I know we are young but having a 7 year old girl, just makes you feel like your like 30 not 22!"

Haley laughed at her friend's little outburst and squeezed her shoulder. "You are defiantly not old, teeny mum! You rock!"

…

"I said I wanted to have everything set for the god damn sports event on Friday, you know? And Friday is when? That's right, tomorrow! So work a little harder, will you? What do you think do I pay you for?"

Nathan stormed out of the room and went to his office. He and his brother Lucas had put a lot of effort in "Scotts Sports" company and he hated when things didn't go how they should. The company focused mainly on basketball.

Sport magazines, a sport clothing line and organizing events for charity or important players, coaches and sponsors were just a small part of the endless list, this company stood for. It wasn't that he or his brother founded the company.

No, that would be the great Keith Scott, who rested now in heaven. When Nathan thought about him and his fate he often wondered where the justice or fairness was in this cold and destructive world. His own father had pulled the trigger a few years ago. It wasn't fair that he lost his life, while trying to console a helpless kid, who just wanted acceptance in life. Keith had just wanted to try to stop Jimmy Edwards from taking his own life, to make him understand that he fought against his pain the wrong way. Dan Scott didn't seem to understand.

When Keith died, he left the company to Nathan and Lucas. They were just kids then. Barely 18. After high school, when Lucas accepted that he had HCM and when Nathan gave up on his dream of the NBA, because he wanted to follow Keith's dream as well, they decided to major business in college and started to help the company find its way again.

Nathan sighed as he traced his fingers over the old picture of him and his uncle. It was the only picture he had of them, just weeks before the fateful day.

"Mr. Scott? Haley James is on line 2."

He smiled as he heard the mention of his friends name and picked up the phone. "Hey sexy!", he greeted and he knew she was blushing.

"Nathan!" Even her voice gave her away.

"So, for what do I deserve this phone call?"

"You know that Dean is coming over for movie night, right? So you better stay home tonight."

"Hales!", he whined and she laughed at the other end. "Don't be a baby, maybe Brooke is staying home today as well. And if she isn't, buy yourself a pack of ear plugs! Talk to you later, bye!"

He disappointed hang up the phone and shook his head. Dean was Haley's best friend. He didn't really know him well, because was never a part of the group, but was a friend she got to know during her tour in junior year.

However Nathan never really liked the guy. He and Haley seemed to share something special. He knew that it was probably because of music, but he just couldn't understand the weird feeling he got whenever he would think of the two of them together.

An hour later, after having finished hundreds of phone calls and having taken care of the last arrangements for the upcoming events, he got out of his office and saw Lucas heading into the main hall.

"Luke!", he shouted and Lucas approached him. "Hey little brother, whats up?"

"You better not bring Brooke home tonight. Dean is staying over at Haley's, movies night or something. And I need some sleep."

Lucas groaned but couldn't help but laugh at Nathan's face when he mentioned Dean.

Nathan send him a warning look, meaning that he was serious, and got out of the building. He reached into his pocket and dialed the familiar number.

"Hello?"

"Rachel? I will be over in ten."


	4. Chapter 3

**A/N: **Hey guys! Thank you for reviewing and giving this story a chance! I hope you guys like this chapter ;)

Don't forget to leave a comment and please check out my one shot "Closure".

This whole thing is new for me, so I hope you can help me to get into it ;) Thanks! xx

**Chapter 3**

"What film do you want to watch?", Haley asked as she plopped down on the couch next to Dean, a boal of popcorn in her lap.

"Oh, I just put _Saw _in, its okay, right?, he asked with a slight grin and she punched him in the arm.

"Funny. You know how much I hate horror movies."

"Wipe that pout off and stop being a baby for a minute. Come on, Hals. I will protect you."

"Nooo!", she whined. "We can even watch _Fast and Furious_ or whatever you want, just nothing scary."

"Fine, _Fast and Furiuos_ is it."

"He switched on the TV and pushed the play button."

"Don't you need to change the DVD?", she asked confused.

"Nope. Actually, the movie was in there the whole time."

Haley glared at Dean and gave him another punch. "You tricked me!"

"Shhh! Its about to start!"

….

The next morning.

"Call me, when you are ready for an encore!", Rachel called out the next morning, when Nathan slipped into his shoes and took his jacket, but Nathan didn't even look at her. He went out of the door and let it fall shut.

He got out of the apartment building and wondered if he should stop buy at Haley's.

He loved the mornings at her place. They would eat breakfast together and talk about all kinds of things. It was a nice way to start the day and it was just what he needed.

He stopped by at Karens Cafe and talked to Karen for a few minutes before buying two cups of coffees and two donuts.

When he reached her apartment he slightly wondered if Dean stayed the night.

She did tell him to not come at night, but she never said anything about the morning.

He decided to let himself in and walked up the stairs. When he was just about to open the door he stopped for a minute to listen if there where any noises. But everything seemed silent so he stepped into the small place.

He couldn't help but smile when he saw her passed out on the couch.

….

"Hey sleepy head.", she heard him whisper and his breath was softly tickling her ear.

She opened her eyes and excepted to see Dean, but it was Nathan's face which hovered above her. She quickly sat up and looked around the room. Thats when she noticed the headache that was starting. Where was Dean?, she wondered and her glance went back to Nathan.

"What are you doing here?!"

"I bought breakfast." He lifted up the two cups and the small bag and grinned.

Haley smiled and took one of the coffees, taking a long swig. "So good!"

"Did you drink last night?" His eyes moved to the empty bottles of whine and scotch that lied on the floor and she chuckled. "Apparently more than I thought. I don't remember much about last night."

He furrowed his brow. "You don't remember anything?! Where the hell is Dean? What did he do last night?!"

Haley almost chuckled at Nathan's behavior. He always had a quick temper.

"Nathan, calm down. I told you already. I don't remember. But I'm sure that nothing bad happened last night, okay? Dean is my best friend, Nate! He is the one person I can trust with everything. He knows me best, you know? He would never to anything to harm or hurt me. He cares about me."

Somehow these words hurt Nathan, but he wouldn't admit it, not to himself and definitely not to Haley.

Nathan nodded. "Okay, I get it. You should take an aspirin, though."

"Yeah. Now, what about breakfast? Let's see what you got there!", Haley smiled and snatched away the bag Nathan was still holding.

Nathan laughed and sat next to her on the couch, as they fell into a comfortable silence.

"So, what plans do you have for today?", Haley asked when they finished their donuts and Nathan sighed.

"The same as every day. I'm heading to the office in a few minutes, preparing everything for the big sports gala on Saturday and phoning with possible sponsors and clients."

"Yeah, I will have to stop by there, too. Chris wants to become a sponsor for us.", she said timidly, still embarrassed for what she did to get to this point.

"Hales, thats great!" He wrapped his around her in a small hug, kissing her head and Haley couldn't help but smell his after shave.

"It was still the last time!", she warned and he nodded, while lifting his arms in defense. "I know, I know."

"Great. Come on, you can give me a lift."

….

"Where do I sign these, babe?", Chris flirted and Haley rolled her eyes. She blamed Nathan that he was still around.

"Right there." She replied with a fake smile, he wouldn't even notice, and pointed to a blank space.

He signed the paper and smiled at her. "All done. Can we leave now? I sure think we can do better things, right now." He eyed her and his eyes land somehow on her chest.

Haley snapped her fingers and gave him an annoyed look. Now that he had signed the papers, she wouldn't have to play nice anymore. "Up here, buddy."

Chris smirked and wanted to reach out to her to take her hand, but Haley just stood up from her seat and walked to the door.

"It was nice to have done business with you, Mr. Keller. But I would like you to leave now."

Haley guessed that he would get the message, but instead his grin just widened. "Is this some kind of role-play? I like it!"

Haley rolled her eyes at his lack of a brain and pointed to the door. "Chris, just go. I will call you.", she said and he finally stepped out.

"See ya soon!", he winked at her and before he could say anything else, she slammed the door shut. God, she hated Nathan for having to deal with Chris Keller.


	5. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

The sound of the door and the following footsteps shook her awake and she waited until he made his way to the bed, tossing his clothes to the floor.

He got under the covers and yawned, before he turned to the side and wrapped his arm over her waist. She tried to keep her breathing normal and snuggled closer into his touch.

"Hales.", she heard him whisper and he began to kiss her neck. She moaned at the contact and turned to face him.

"Hi.", she said timidly, her brown eyes sparkling with desire.

"I missed you." He continued to kiss her neck and her hand found his way to his hair. She lifted her head to give him better access and Nathan smirked into her skin.

"Did you miss me?", he asked softly against her skin and she nodded her head.

"Good. Now, where were we?", he asked as he managed to turn her over so he was on top of her. Her arms came to bring him closer and their lips collied.

When she woke up, she was glad that Nathan wasn't next to her anymore. It was always so confusing and complicated when they talked about the night events' that she just wanted to avoid it.

She looked for her purge and made her way to the office. When she arrived she saw Nathan coming around the corner and held her breath. "Hey Hales!", he called out to her with his Scott smirk and she gave him a smile.

They never spoke about what happens in the apartment at night when he comes over needing to be with someone and her giving herself away to him every time because she can't seem to escape him, because she needs him to be hers for just a moment. She knew that he has slept with almost every girl in Tree Hill, but still. She can't seem to turn him down. Its a curse. And she hasn't found a way to stop it or find a way out of it yet.

When she finished work Haley saw that she had gotten a text message from Dean and decided to stop by his house.

She knocked on his door and a second later he stood there with a goofy smile, evolving her in a tight hug.

Minutes later they were joking around and laughing loudly on the couch, fighting over the remote control, until Dean let Haley switch the channel.

"Hungry?", she asked when her stomach growled and he nodded while smirking at her.

After dinner they sat on the couch and talked about their jobs. Dean was always experiencing something new, as he worked as a producer and sometimes Haley couldn't help but feel jealous. Her secret dream had always been to become a singer, but it was in nowhere reach so far. She also doubt that her voice was good enough to become a real artist. She loved to sing and play the piano, but she also knew that there was a lot of effort and connections needed to make it to the top.

She sighed and Dean looked at her with a weird face. Thats when she realized that she must have spaced out. "I'm sorry! What did you say?"

He fiddled nervously with his fingers and starred down for a moment, before he locked eyes with her again.

"I just wanted to ask if you want to step out sometime?", he paused and she raised an eyebrow, knowing there was more to come. "Like on date.", he managed to get out and Haley's widened in surprise.

"A date?", she asked, unsure if she understood correctly.

"Yeah.. I know we've been always friends, but I just wonder if… Don't you ever wonder if there could be more?"

"I…" Haley was nervous. Her best friend had just asked her out on a date. She didn't know how to respond. Thoughts of the night before came to her mind and she remembered what she felt when Nathan's lips touched her skin. His hands holding her tightly, his eyes roaming over her and his voice being so sexy when he said her name. She was so captivated by him that she couldn't stay away from him. However she knew that she wasn't the only woman in his life and that is what kept her at distance. She would never admit it, but it was killing her to hear all the stories of him and other women at work. Thats why a voice in her head screamed at her to say yes to this date with Dean. She owned it to him and it would keep her mind off of Nathan. Maybe she could finally be free from him and start something with Dean that was never discovered.

Finally she smiled at the man before her and nodded her head. "I would love to."

He grinned widely and kissed her cheek. "Great. I will pick you up tomorrow, at seven?" She nodded and he stood up. Haley was confused. He usually stayed the night.

"Where are you going?"

"Home. I need to make sure everything is perfect tomorrow. See you." He leaned down and placed a kiss on her forehead, then he was out of the door.

Nathan left the bar a little too tipsy and stumbled out of the door. Outside the cold wind of the night made him shiver and he tried to grab his phone out of his pocket to dial the number of a taxi.

A few minutes later he stepped inside the car and told the driver Haley's address.

He missed her and the alcohol in his system wasn't helping. Knocking loudly on the door he waited impatiently for her to open it.

When she stood before him he held his breath. Dressed in only a short night dress she gave him a weird look and he licked his lips. She was gorgeous.

He took a step forward and with one fast move he slipped into her apartment, his foot kicking the door shut and his hand reaching for her to get closer. She gasped when she felt him against her and moaned loudly when his tongue found its way into there mouth. She loved it when he took the lead. Guiding her, he led them to the kitchen counter and he moved her up so that she was sitting on the cold furniture while his was standing in between her legs, never taking his mouth of hers.

Haley's legs wrapped around him, needing him to be even closer and her arms gripping his neck tightly. She loved the sensation she felt when he attacked her neck and his hand found his hands roamed over her body like they knew it by heart, making her feel like more wanted than she ever felt before. She just hoped that maybe there would be a change the next morning. They never talked about it which made everything so confusing and uncomfortable. She just wished he would open up to her.

She wanted to think that it wasn't just about sex with her. She wanted to think that she meant more that the whores he banged before he came to her. She wanted to think that she was the only one who could bring him to spend the night. But most of all she wanted him to hell her. When she felt his kisses changing to being more sensual than aggressive she stroked his hair softly. Wishing they had a future. She imagined them being together, him getting along with Dean and….

Dean! Her hands pushed him off of her and she could see the confusion and hurt his eyes. Her mind raced. She just had accepted to go with Dean on a date tomorrow and now she was making out with Nathan on her kitchen counter. Her breath hitched and she searched Nathan's eyes. A mixture of lust and hurt danced in the pool of blue and she knew she had a decision to make. Would she once again fall into the stream of passion or would she try to be free from Nathan Scott?


End file.
